There are so many worlds...
Victors world is full of fun, he made a lot of money, he loves his wife, he parties..he travels. He has seen ups and downs and has learnt how to handle them. He enjoys every day that comes. Yes there are boring days..but thats alright...he has his eye on how to have fun.
Kens world is perfect, so it appears..he has lovely kids, a great job, a beautiful wife..yet somewhere he wonders if he has forgotten himself...why this feeling of emptiness? He did exactly what his world said he must do..then why is he feeling that his life has no meaning now? Maybe somewhere he didnt question his world...maybe he lived in his dad's world and forgot to make a world of his own.
Sarah, bought up by very orthodox and simple parents turned out to be a beautiful modern day woman whose job is to shape the minds of the future of her country. She too questioned the values she was bought up with and came up with her own. She is certainly happy. There were times she almost gave up when she hit rock bottom..not an easy path questioning, experimenting...yet she is soaring high now.
There are maybe a billion worlds in this planet....but thats not what this post is about.
Its been a lovely journey...and its going to take a turn. A search of what seemed like a lifetime has ended. A different search needs to begin...maybe a more difficult search of the self....I think it just got easier to look within.....the yearning and excitement is difficult to contain as i wont be alone. Never one to enjoy working alone...I certainly did a good job of living alone.
I am waiting to rediscover my world and it will be with some help...and yes it does make a world of difference.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Mumbai meri jaan
Well its been a month!!! since I have written and I chose a topic which in some rights is mundane...according to my boss is irrelevant, but will make a huge difference to my life in the coming years.
Mumbai or Delhi...
Well...I still maintain that I do not belong to any one city, but have lived in Mumbai for 15 years and in Delhi for 3.5
Well the years is not as skewed as it appears as the first 10 years in Mumbai were school and just 5 were grown up working years.
Let me compare it as I see it.
1a) I love the sea, I love bhel puri and I absolutely love vada pav. I love bandra causeway and worli sea face.
1b) I have no love for GK or southex or chandani chowk. Chola batura is too fattening for my taste and parathas are approx 500 cals per paratha if you have them with butter, without which its not necessary to eat a paratha.
2a) I love driving to pune where close cousins reside..as well as there is thousand oaks and some great restaurants I visit.
2b) Rishikesh is too far to drive, Jaipur is a 6 hr drive...and doesnt make sense for shopping.
3a) I love walking on bandstand and the music played in Hawain shack and lately Hardrock which opened after i left. Numerous options in Mumbai
3b) If you walk, you might get molly coddled, so you got to stick to your sector's man made park. the only place I can bear is TC
4a) I hated driving 3.5 hrs a day and having no life other than work
4b) I love driving 10 minutes a day and reaching home at 7.00pm and waking up at 8.00am.
5a) In 5 yrs I made 6 very close friends based on a personality match
5b) In 3.5 yrs I made 2
6a) A ticket to Goa now costs Rs 4000
6b) A ticket to Goa costs Rs 8000 if lucky
7a) Will pay Rs 20000 and live in a 800 sqft 2BHK may be with the works mentioned below..maybe not
7b) Will pay Rs 20000 and live in a 1500 sq ft 3BHK in a super society which has pools, squash courts, a gym, tennis courts and a great running park. (my my - however money has never been a consideration in my life)
8a) Love the weather 4 months in a year only, but the rains beat down upon you while the roads and traffic is always a mess
8b) Love the weather for maybe 8 months leaving the 2 months when its too hot or too cold, awesome roads, traffic is horrible not because its as much as mumbai but because the people are just too indecent.
9a) Never feel insecure while driving alone in the night
9b) Never drive in the night..the few times I have...god had to work hard to save me, literally.
10a) The vibrancy and feel of independence is intoxicating
10b) Have to struggle to maintain the feeling totally
Well...for lack of time will end it here..I miss so many things about mumbai and will not miss anything about delhi except traveling 10 minutes a day to work.
Finally delhi's been good for me however its not me the way mumbai was.
Mumbai or Delhi...
Well...I still maintain that I do not belong to any one city, but have lived in Mumbai for 15 years and in Delhi for 3.5
Well the years is not as skewed as it appears as the first 10 years in Mumbai were school and just 5 were grown up working years.
Let me compare it as I see it.
1a) I love the sea, I love bhel puri and I absolutely love vada pav. I love bandra causeway and worli sea face.
1b) I have no love for GK or southex or chandani chowk. Chola batura is too fattening for my taste and parathas are approx 500 cals per paratha if you have them with butter, without which its not necessary to eat a paratha.
2a) I love driving to pune where close cousins reside..as well as there is thousand oaks and some great restaurants I visit.
2b) Rishikesh is too far to drive, Jaipur is a 6 hr drive...and doesnt make sense for shopping.
3a) I love walking on bandstand and the music played in Hawain shack and lately Hardrock which opened after i left. Numerous options in Mumbai
3b) If you walk, you might get molly coddled, so you got to stick to your sector's man made park. the only place I can bear is TC
4a) I hated driving 3.5 hrs a day and having no life other than work
4b) I love driving 10 minutes a day and reaching home at 7.00pm and waking up at 8.00am.
5a) In 5 yrs I made 6 very close friends based on a personality match
5b) In 3.5 yrs I made 2
6a) A ticket to Goa now costs Rs 4000
6b) A ticket to Goa costs Rs 8000 if lucky
7a) Will pay Rs 20000 and live in a 800 sqft 2BHK may be with the works mentioned below..maybe not
7b) Will pay Rs 20000 and live in a 1500 sq ft 3BHK in a super society which has pools, squash courts, a gym, tennis courts and a great running park. (my my - however money has never been a consideration in my life)
8a) Love the weather 4 months in a year only, but the rains beat down upon you while the roads and traffic is always a mess
8b) Love the weather for maybe 8 months leaving the 2 months when its too hot or too cold, awesome roads, traffic is horrible not because its as much as mumbai but because the people are just too indecent.
9a) Never feel insecure while driving alone in the night
9b) Never drive in the night..the few times I have...god had to work hard to save me, literally.
10a) The vibrancy and feel of independence is intoxicating
10b) Have to struggle to maintain the feeling totally
Well...for lack of time will end it here..I miss so many things about mumbai and will not miss anything about delhi except traveling 10 minutes a day to work.
Finally delhi's been good for me however its not me the way mumbai was.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Powerful or powerless?
A phone call from a friend in one of the leading intellectual institutions in India just confirmed it The similarity of experiences is uncanny. Its been a while since I have been thinking about human behavior in a work place. The only advice I can give myself is baby handle it or bail out.
Not one to quit, however the scales seems to tip towards the whole effort being senseless.
Lately in a training program, the trainer seemed to repeatedly mention me trying to behave like a kid and not showing the world the true woman that I am. It could be a defense mechanism to retain innocence and not change despite blatant events which push you to realizing that being hardened by reality is necessary.
Insecurity and in decisiveness masked by power and abrasive confidence seems to be present in all organizations irrespective of the nature of work. In an academic institution it is about Intellectual property, in a company it is about business orientation. I have a sneaky feeling that its not about leadership at all now. In India where human resource is scarce in any industry, there are bound to be people who are not skilled at what they are supposed to do at any level. This is perfectly alright as I truly believe, sales is not about the product. In sales you gotta learn the technique and not just the product. Product knowledge happens along the way, the skill set is in understanding client requirement and building trust.
Similarly if one is not skilled and has reached senior management soon, the attitude of learning and not masking it is important. Do you have the guts to say, I have no idea, but I shall be the best at it soon? Or can you agree to the fact that you are so confused as you have no clue of what to do in some tasks, yet you will follow your gut and if you don't have that too, you will let your team who does, do it without interrupting or creating hurdles for them?
Sorry folks, this does not happen in real life. Human tendency is to masquerade insecurity. It is a defense mechanism which one may not even realize. Though I must mention that I am not a great believer of this and still would like to maintain that every individual in the end knows the intent behind their actions. The sad part is when these people are in positions of power which is oft the case.
The learning - you have to handle it. Yes you may argue that the joy of working vanishes. Well folks you better find work that gives you joy. The high could be in research, teaching, technology, mentoring, achieving targets, building great products or companies...whatever...but if you have not found what makes you tick, you are bound to not find the whole experience worth it in the end. Maybe the powerful people have no power over you if you actually enjoying what you do.
Not one to quit, however the scales seems to tip towards the whole effort being senseless.
Lately in a training program, the trainer seemed to repeatedly mention me trying to behave like a kid and not showing the world the true woman that I am. It could be a defense mechanism to retain innocence and not change despite blatant events which push you to realizing that being hardened by reality is necessary.
Insecurity and in decisiveness masked by power and abrasive confidence seems to be present in all organizations irrespective of the nature of work. In an academic institution it is about Intellectual property, in a company it is about business orientation. I have a sneaky feeling that its not about leadership at all now. In India where human resource is scarce in any industry, there are bound to be people who are not skilled at what they are supposed to do at any level. This is perfectly alright as I truly believe, sales is not about the product. In sales you gotta learn the technique and not just the product. Product knowledge happens along the way, the skill set is in understanding client requirement and building trust.
Similarly if one is not skilled and has reached senior management soon, the attitude of learning and not masking it is important. Do you have the guts to say, I have no idea, but I shall be the best at it soon? Or can you agree to the fact that you are so confused as you have no clue of what to do in some tasks, yet you will follow your gut and if you don't have that too, you will let your team who does, do it without interrupting or creating hurdles for them?
Sorry folks, this does not happen in real life. Human tendency is to masquerade insecurity. It is a defense mechanism which one may not even realize. Though I must mention that I am not a great believer of this and still would like to maintain that every individual in the end knows the intent behind their actions. The sad part is when these people are in positions of power which is oft the case.
The learning - you have to handle it. Yes you may argue that the joy of working vanishes. Well folks you better find work that gives you joy. The high could be in research, teaching, technology, mentoring, achieving targets, building great products or companies...whatever...but if you have not found what makes you tick, you are bound to not find the whole experience worth it in the end. Maybe the powerful people have no power over you if you actually enjoying what you do.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
an analogy
pic credit - Iyadarus, flickr.com
a distant destination
a long long flight
she joined many flocks
and left them behind
a miraculous pillar
she was so tired
solitude and rest
her soul desired
the sight is limited
the wings are rested
a solitary bird
where should she fly?
stranger in a strange land
Pam realized she had been too pushy...she might have asked for it..she grieved at her fate now. Bill had become cold..and very distant...she suspected he had another woman. The beautiful house and all the money and cars she owned didn't seem enough any more. Her ego could not take Bill's interest in another woman. How did Bill..the fat cowardly man that he was think of having having an affair?
Not that she cared for Bill at all, but it had been a great 14-15 years of having so much of everything. Little did she realize that all expensive clothes, gadgets, jewelery that meant everything to her, gave her little pleasure now. She became violent and slapped Bill in front of her teen aged daughter over nothing. She planned of catching Bill red handed and demanding more than he could give in alimony.
Bill woke up, a happy man. He had lived a cowardly life, working like a dog and hearing abuses from his beautiful society wife. Now he felt free. He had secretly married a woman who loved him. His wife had no clue and he felt love after years and years of being alone, desperately alone. He was scared..a man doesn't get courage from hiding and pretending. He had to tell his secret to someone. His dad, would be hopping mad and might remove him from the family business. He pledged to never tell his dad till he died.
He decided no harm in leading two separate lives.
A foolish man Bill, his absence on weekends and frequent trips did not go unnoticed by anyone in his family. They just didn't think Bill had the guts to do anything..so let it be.
Till one day his brother David found out. David and Kate had been a loving couple and led simple lives amidst all the glamor surrounding them. They had beautiful kids and were in shock..David was supposed to go to a far away land for a year and Kate had no clue what would she do when all hell breaks loose at home. She feared for the health of David's father. Pam's phone calls had become more frequent. She could not bare Pam's harsh words and realized her desperate sorrow. She could not tell Pam what she knew, Pam was capable of murdering all in the family..she had a history of being an abusive woman.
Yet Kate felt guilty. She could not bear the thought of such blatant stupidity and cowardice on Bill's part. She made David talk to Bill to come clean. If it meant divorce...so be it..but leading a life with two wives seemed unthinkable of to her.
What must Kate do...close her eyes and mind her own business like what everyone does? She knows she has always stood up for what she felt right. However neither Pam, nor Bill were close to anyone she would want to stand up for. She only feared for the health of David's father and Pam's kids. David must go away for a year. There is no way he could stay back. Gods timing had been funny.
So readers what would you do if you were a stranger in Kate's strange world?
Not that she cared for Bill at all, but it had been a great 14-15 years of having so much of everything. Little did she realize that all expensive clothes, gadgets, jewelery that meant everything to her, gave her little pleasure now. She became violent and slapped Bill in front of her teen aged daughter over nothing. She planned of catching Bill red handed and demanding more than he could give in alimony.
Bill woke up, a happy man. He had lived a cowardly life, working like a dog and hearing abuses from his beautiful society wife. Now he felt free. He had secretly married a woman who loved him. His wife had no clue and he felt love after years and years of being alone, desperately alone. He was scared..a man doesn't get courage from hiding and pretending. He had to tell his secret to someone. His dad, would be hopping mad and might remove him from the family business. He pledged to never tell his dad till he died.
He decided no harm in leading two separate lives.
A foolish man Bill, his absence on weekends and frequent trips did not go unnoticed by anyone in his family. They just didn't think Bill had the guts to do anything..so let it be.
Till one day his brother David found out. David and Kate had been a loving couple and led simple lives amidst all the glamor surrounding them. They had beautiful kids and were in shock..David was supposed to go to a far away land for a year and Kate had no clue what would she do when all hell breaks loose at home. She feared for the health of David's father. Pam's phone calls had become more frequent. She could not bare Pam's harsh words and realized her desperate sorrow. She could not tell Pam what she knew, Pam was capable of murdering all in the family..she had a history of being an abusive woman.
Yet Kate felt guilty. She could not bear the thought of such blatant stupidity and cowardice on Bill's part. She made David talk to Bill to come clean. If it meant divorce...so be it..but leading a life with two wives seemed unthinkable of to her.
What must Kate do...close her eyes and mind her own business like what everyone does? She knows she has always stood up for what she felt right. However neither Pam, nor Bill were close to anyone she would want to stand up for. She only feared for the health of David's father and Pam's kids. David must go away for a year. There is no way he could stay back. Gods timing had been funny.
So readers what would you do if you were a stranger in Kate's strange world?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
