Whew!!! One program on my brother on TV and lots of phone calls from all near and far family. No escaping this time for the perceived prodigal daughter.
A..the star of the moment...got featured today on a news channel. The channel did go overboard in portraying him as the perfect Indian...ahem... but I still know what he did last summer and the summer before that. :)
It all started with him calling me inquiring if all looked good on air amidst a big party at home with lots of family and friends watching the show together, all high on wine and whisky...when my aunts decided to raid the phone and for the next hour and I got nicely lectured on the only topic which they are experts in.
Aunt 1: Pagoo what are you doing with your life. Your mum also..not doing anything.
Me: Its ok, I like it that way... btw you looked great on tv
Aunt 1: (not relenting) See X and see Y they left their jobs and came to India to be more accessible to finding the right guy...and see how happy they are
Me: Yes, am happy for them. (ahem...happy are they?)
Aunt 1: blah...blah...blah...blah...
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Aunt 1: more blah blah blah....
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz
A: Pags...ok take care :p... call you later
Me: Bum why could'nt you call me from off
Aunt 1: Why...
click and thankfully the receiver was down.
The phone rings again. in 15 mins....HOME...better
Me: Mommy, did you watch the show?
Mum: Aru, just spoke to Aunt 1 on the phone
Me: Mum, dont bother.
Mum: But Aru...am sick with worry?
Me: Dont mum...go to africa with dad and be happy
Mum: I am not going anywhere till you get married...when you become a mom then you'll know..
Me: Why not? Its not Mars you know.
Mum: What stops you beta?
Me: groan...(gonna whack A for coming on TV)
Mum: I didn't know you dad when we got married...You can never know anyone completely...Its destiny....this astrologer says blah blah blah...
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Mum: Aru, at least shift to bombay..get a job here.
Me: Ok mum not able to hear you...this imate sucks! (Shit why didn't I think of this earlier)
click...god bless the imate or hutch
Indian families...love them I do...but wish they could talk about how much publicity A's company has got from the program...if you know what i mean.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
A reflecting mind
Its been a long time...since I have reflected. Am confused....some questions and the answers keep changing...
Who am I? A daughter, a sister, a mausi, a friend, a cousin, an employee or a boss? I have no problem in everyday life...I seem to wear these hats almost perfectly, yet am confused whether I am doing justice to any of them...without a realization of who is this person that is me. I got some cues though.
Where is my home? I have built a small world around me...tailored to my needs..but it feels as if I am at a station in the the journey of life.Is there really a bridge across forever or will these questions keep occurring all along till the day i die.
What do i want? Fleeting glimpses of dreams I have, yet conviction I seem to lack. Every thresh hold I cross, there is still a yearning desire for something that I have been missing. Certainty?
Not one to have known fear too closely, not one to have had any problems with uncertainty, not one who could ever be accused of playing it safe...Someones being taking care of me very dearly...I feel that hand's being lifted...I smell the intoxicating smell of the unknown...I feel that someones clearly telling me that I have it now, I kinda know it now and that I am on my own. Its like a parent who has brought up the child and the child has now moved to discover the big beautiful world on her own. Strangely its now when that hand seems to have hidden itself...whose hand was this? That kind old man on a rocking chair who we call god?
Who am I is a highly misleading question...i feel...a better one would be why am I here? I feel forming opinions of yourself is as bad as forming opinions about others.
Why am I here? The closest i can get to an answer is....to act as a catalyst for the lives that I touch.
Who am I? A daughter, a sister, a mausi, a friend, a cousin, an employee or a boss? I have no problem in everyday life...I seem to wear these hats almost perfectly, yet am confused whether I am doing justice to any of them...without a realization of who is this person that is me. I got some cues though.
Where is my home? I have built a small world around me...tailored to my needs..but it feels as if I am at a station in the the journey of life.Is there really a bridge across forever or will these questions keep occurring all along till the day i die.
What do i want? Fleeting glimpses of dreams I have, yet conviction I seem to lack. Every thresh hold I cross, there is still a yearning desire for something that I have been missing. Certainty?
Not one to have known fear too closely, not one to have had any problems with uncertainty, not one who could ever be accused of playing it safe...Someones being taking care of me very dearly...I feel that hand's being lifted...I smell the intoxicating smell of the unknown...I feel that someones clearly telling me that I have it now, I kinda know it now and that I am on my own. Its like a parent who has brought up the child and the child has now moved to discover the big beautiful world on her own. Strangely its now when that hand seems to have hidden itself...whose hand was this? That kind old man on a rocking chair who we call god?
Who am I is a highly misleading question...i feel...a better one would be why am I here? I feel forming opinions of yourself is as bad as forming opinions about others.
Why am I here? The closest i can get to an answer is....to act as a catalyst for the lives that I touch.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
7/7/7
Morning 8.30am, Channel CNN IBN or NDTV (forgot which one)
The most important news today was how auspicious a day it was to get married. I swear, 4times within an hour, I actually saw news about how some American couples waited for 2 years to get married today. Another friend had made a decision of getting married 2 weeks ago and the aim was 7/7/7. Its as if the day comes with a guarantee stamp of happiness.
Now you have to hear this-
1) There are 7 colors (i think they meant the rainbow, as am sure only there are only 3 primary colors other than white and black, correct me if I am wrong)
2) Marriage means saat janamo ka saath (7 lifetimes of togetherness)
3) In a Hindu ceremony you take 7 pheras to get married
4) There are 7 days in a week (whoops how profound!)
5) There are 7 chakras in the body
6) and some 7 constellations in Hindi astronomy ( weren't there 12?)
and some scores of similar stuff which I fail to recollect.
Well seeing the quality of news stories now-a-days, i wouldn't have batted an eyelid, however this point was driven into me by a friend who got married (i think is still in the process of) today. A big reason was 7/7/7. I was told it was a small wedding at a temple..so I went to check it out.
My experience and learning from 7/7/7.
(changed this part on popular demand)
Well lately I have witnessed someone I know who went through a lot of confusion as to whether she should marry a guy she met through an arranged marriage. After almost reaching a conclusion of not going through with it...she did eventually with a hard heart. 7/7/7 seemed to be a great factor in the decision made.
I know if she had listened to her heart or mind once and not gotten carried away..she had a strong chance of having the life she always wanted...yet somehow we succumb I guess. Having seen the wedding and her reaction to it...i did think it was a decision made in haste. The auspicious nature of the date, the whole hype about it just seemed so wasted to me.
7/7/7 has left me totally speechless
Maybe CNN IBN will attribute Venus Williams victory to the date as well...maybe her name sums up to 7...if not maybe her dad's name does!!!! As far as Bartolli goes and I must say she played a splendid game yesterday...may be CNN IBN would suggest she change her name as the days magic didn't work for her
Disclaimer- the above facts are only my observations and my perspective.
The most important news today was how auspicious a day it was to get married. I swear, 4times within an hour, I actually saw news about how some American couples waited for 2 years to get married today. Another friend had made a decision of getting married 2 weeks ago and the aim was 7/7/7. Its as if the day comes with a guarantee stamp of happiness.
Now you have to hear this-
1) There are 7 colors (i think they meant the rainbow, as am sure only there are only 3 primary colors other than white and black, correct me if I am wrong)
2) Marriage means saat janamo ka saath (7 lifetimes of togetherness)
3) In a Hindu ceremony you take 7 pheras to get married
4) There are 7 days in a week (whoops how profound!)
5) There are 7 chakras in the body
6) and some 7 constellations in Hindi astronomy ( weren't there 12?)
and some scores of similar stuff which I fail to recollect.
Well seeing the quality of news stories now-a-days, i wouldn't have batted an eyelid, however this point was driven into me by a friend who got married (i think is still in the process of) today. A big reason was 7/7/7. I was told it was a small wedding at a temple..so I went to check it out.
My experience and learning from 7/7/7.
(changed this part on popular demand)
Well lately I have witnessed someone I know who went through a lot of confusion as to whether she should marry a guy she met through an arranged marriage. After almost reaching a conclusion of not going through with it...she did eventually with a hard heart. 7/7/7 seemed to be a great factor in the decision made.
I know if she had listened to her heart or mind once and not gotten carried away..she had a strong chance of having the life she always wanted...yet somehow we succumb I guess. Having seen the wedding and her reaction to it...i did think it was a decision made in haste. The auspicious nature of the date, the whole hype about it just seemed so wasted to me.
7/7/7 has left me totally speechless
Maybe CNN IBN will attribute Venus Williams victory to the date as well...maybe her name sums up to 7...if not maybe her dad's name does!!!! As far as Bartolli goes and I must say she played a splendid game yesterday...may be CNN IBN would suggest she change her name as the days magic didn't work for her
Disclaimer- the above facts are only my observations and my perspective.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
cues from long ago
Lately my thoughts have been going back to childhood very often. Its amazing how when you sit by yourself and relive childhood, you can experience all what happened then just as it did.
The most important observation is that I haven't changed a bit since. No not an iota of change has happened to the way I am, the way I interact with people or what I think and feel, even in how I react to situations.
To draw a parallel..I remember being the favorite child of my school principal and I remember in todays language not being hierarchical in my thought even then. The world used to tell me that you ought to speak to Father Orlando with more reverence or that you just say anything that comes to your mind. Even then I used to think why ever not? Anyone who knows me at work will say the same now.
I remember the pain that little girl in std 6 went through when she was not selected for a dance for a discriminatory reason or the happiness when she jived with the prince charming of yesteryear, who I think had engineered her selection in the dance.
Can we take cues from our childhood. If we've forgotten who we are and yes I mean forgotten and not discovering here...If we have forgotten who we are, we just need to sit back and revive that memory stored somewhere in our brain.
I remember coming 15th in class in standard 5 and the absolute heart break that I went through then and I remember the lesson that little girl learnt so clearly then. I remember the competition I had with Mathew in class 3 for getting the highest marks in maths...yes i think I was competitive then. Am I fooling myself saying I am not now? Its just that studies was a high and work now just doesn't do the trick or maybe people have grown up and are not like Mathew any more.
I remember that none of my parents ever told me to study...I just did it when I wanted to. A great parallel to now. If I am told to do stuff and if someone tries to micro manage - I just procrastinate and don't do anything. Dunno if this approach is good or bad...but thats just me.
I remember PT sir making me run 10 rounds of the football field because I was late for practice by 15 minutes (arrived at 5.15 am and not 5)!!! I remember telling him that sir the punishment and the felony don't match. The sense of fairness, I think was developed even then. I remember way back in maybe std 1, in a crafts test, my mom knew the teacher and had told me what she was going to ask us to make...and I remember thinking that this was not fair. I remember wanting to beat Trupti in every English test and missing it by 1 mark everytime and when I finally did...the teacher had calculated my marks wrong :((...I remember going to her and telling her and yet again came 2nd in English. I remember the temptation of not wanting to tell her quite clearly.
I remember scoring a 3 pointer basket at state level when in std 5 I became the youngest member of the senior team very avidly...I can safely say it was and still is the happiest moment of my life...yeah we went on to lose all games after that which I would rather forget. To draw a parallel achieving a 3 pointer sales or revenue target...gives me an absolute high even now...throw in some number game...I mean give me data to play with and there I think I would have found my work calling. Why did I miss it for so long? Had all the cues,...maths my fav subject...english and debating a close second.
Put in 50% numbers, 40% comm skills utilization and maybe 10% of all the mundane stuff that one has to do at work,...and that is the ideal job for me.
Interests...well crafts was out then...drawing was very close to my heart...why didnt i pursue it as a hobby? Something about our education system just sucks.
Sports was dad's biggest gift I think till date. Why didnt I pursue a special interest in any competitive sport?
There is a lot more stuff I remember but the point is that I very clearly remember all my actions then and if I draw a parallel of those actions to now...though situations have changed, the actions are similar.
Take the same theory to people and I am sure great parallels can be drawn...but then am tired and it will have to wait for the next post.
The most important observation is that I haven't changed a bit since. No not an iota of change has happened to the way I am, the way I interact with people or what I think and feel, even in how I react to situations.
To draw a parallel..I remember being the favorite child of my school principal and I remember in todays language not being hierarchical in my thought even then. The world used to tell me that you ought to speak to Father Orlando with more reverence or that you just say anything that comes to your mind. Even then I used to think why ever not? Anyone who knows me at work will say the same now.
I remember the pain that little girl in std 6 went through when she was not selected for a dance for a discriminatory reason or the happiness when she jived with the prince charming of yesteryear, who I think had engineered her selection in the dance.
Can we take cues from our childhood. If we've forgotten who we are and yes I mean forgotten and not discovering here...If we have forgotten who we are, we just need to sit back and revive that memory stored somewhere in our brain.
I remember coming 15th in class in standard 5 and the absolute heart break that I went through then and I remember the lesson that little girl learnt so clearly then. I remember the competition I had with Mathew in class 3 for getting the highest marks in maths...yes i think I was competitive then. Am I fooling myself saying I am not now? Its just that studies was a high and work now just doesn't do the trick or maybe people have grown up and are not like Mathew any more.
I remember that none of my parents ever told me to study...I just did it when I wanted to. A great parallel to now. If I am told to do stuff and if someone tries to micro manage - I just procrastinate and don't do anything. Dunno if this approach is good or bad...but thats just me.
I remember PT sir making me run 10 rounds of the football field because I was late for practice by 15 minutes (arrived at 5.15 am and not 5)!!! I remember telling him that sir the punishment and the felony don't match. The sense of fairness, I think was developed even then. I remember way back in maybe std 1, in a crafts test, my mom knew the teacher and had told me what she was going to ask us to make...and I remember thinking that this was not fair. I remember wanting to beat Trupti in every English test and missing it by 1 mark everytime and when I finally did...the teacher had calculated my marks wrong :((...I remember going to her and telling her and yet again came 2nd in English. I remember the temptation of not wanting to tell her quite clearly.
I remember scoring a 3 pointer basket at state level when in std 5 I became the youngest member of the senior team very avidly...I can safely say it was and still is the happiest moment of my life...yeah we went on to lose all games after that which I would rather forget. To draw a parallel achieving a 3 pointer sales or revenue target...gives me an absolute high even now...throw in some number game...I mean give me data to play with and there I think I would have found my work calling. Why did I miss it for so long? Had all the cues,...maths my fav subject...english and debating a close second.
Put in 50% numbers, 40% comm skills utilization and maybe 10% of all the mundane stuff that one has to do at work,...and that is the ideal job for me.
Interests...well crafts was out then...drawing was very close to my heart...why didnt i pursue it as a hobby? Something about our education system just sucks.
Sports was dad's biggest gift I think till date. Why didnt I pursue a special interest in any competitive sport?
There is a lot more stuff I remember but the point is that I very clearly remember all my actions then and if I draw a parallel of those actions to now...though situations have changed, the actions are similar.
Take the same theory to people and I am sure great parallels can be drawn...but then am tired and it will have to wait for the next post.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Kate and Anna
Once upon a time there lived a pretty young girl called Kate. A little saint, who was very happy to be by herself and loved reading about everything from Abraham Lincoln to the truths about the 2nd world war to Mills and Boons. A quiet little dreamer who seldom shared her dreams with anyone but made few and good friends. All she wanted from life was to make a mark, an ambitious dreamer was she. She loved her little sister Anna. Now what can I say about Anna, the center of all mischief in school and town. Poor little Anna got blamed even for the mischief she never did. Fear was not known to Anna, so open was she that she easily became the favorite of all her teachers.
They loved their school - Kate for her books and friends and Anna for all the fun. Kate struggled with her studies while Anna used to easily top everything she touched. Little Kate was the captain and center forward of the hockey team while Anna the defender more interested in basket ball for the captain of the boys team was so very cute. She didn't even have to try too hard, just got into the team with ease. Such was Anna.
Kate tried hard to get over stage fright, but failed miserably while Anna easily danced, sang, acted and debated on stage. But Anna picked up everything from her sister. She read all her books, saw all the movies Kate enjoyed and didn't ever need to spend a penny of her pocket money on all the music Kate collected.
Time passed by and they lead separate lives under the same roof. The saintly Kate helped Anna all she could, protected her from the wrath of her parents in all her mischief and Anna had all the fun she could.
In college by a stroke of luck they became room mates. Two gawky grown girls, one who wanted to be something big and the other who didn't know why she was there.
Again Anna this time got into trouble with the college principal, a wicked man was he. For the first time in the principal's office, Anna noticed how passionately Kate defended her and something in Anna changed. She realized how magnanimous a person her sister was and was moved to tears with love for her sister and regret for taking her for granted always.
Their relationship changed and sisters they became not by birth, but from the heart. Anna passed by happily and Kate met her prince charming. No looking back for Kate, who for the first time overcame all her fears and became a woman. Anna never liked prince charming and seldom wrong was she. Not one to interfere, Anna fiercely helped her sister marry who she wanted facing all the anger of her parents.
Anna went on to experience all that life had to offer with all her passion. She made friends, had crushes, cried, laughed and this time on her own. Till one day she got a call from Kate....
...... to be continued
They loved their school - Kate for her books and friends and Anna for all the fun. Kate struggled with her studies while Anna used to easily top everything she touched. Little Kate was the captain and center forward of the hockey team while Anna the defender more interested in basket ball for the captain of the boys team was so very cute. She didn't even have to try too hard, just got into the team with ease. Such was Anna.
Kate tried hard to get over stage fright, but failed miserably while Anna easily danced, sang, acted and debated on stage. But Anna picked up everything from her sister. She read all her books, saw all the movies Kate enjoyed and didn't ever need to spend a penny of her pocket money on all the music Kate collected.
Time passed by and they lead separate lives under the same roof. The saintly Kate helped Anna all she could, protected her from the wrath of her parents in all her mischief and Anna had all the fun she could.
In college by a stroke of luck they became room mates. Two gawky grown girls, one who wanted to be something big and the other who didn't know why she was there.
Again Anna this time got into trouble with the college principal, a wicked man was he. For the first time in the principal's office, Anna noticed how passionately Kate defended her and something in Anna changed. She realized how magnanimous a person her sister was and was moved to tears with love for her sister and regret for taking her for granted always.
Their relationship changed and sisters they became not by birth, but from the heart. Anna passed by happily and Kate met her prince charming. No looking back for Kate, who for the first time overcame all her fears and became a woman. Anna never liked prince charming and seldom wrong was she. Not one to interfere, Anna fiercely helped her sister marry who she wanted facing all the anger of her parents.
Anna went on to experience all that life had to offer with all her passion. She made friends, had crushes, cried, laughed and this time on her own. Till one day she got a call from Kate....
...... to be continued
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